2008 was the year I finally looked the financial demon square in the face. He is very friendly, with a smiley face and outstretched hands holding credit cards. However, looking for longer, I saw the pound-signs in his eyes, and his fully-paid-up membership card of the 'Interest for Credit-Card Companies' club clearly visible in his top pocket. I shouted at him - 'Be Gone', I said. 'Not that simple, darling', he responded. 'Without me, you are going to have to make some tough decisions, and live like a poor person for a while'
I pondered, could this really be reality? Me, at 58 years old, with mounting debt and an unquenchable thirst for spending money I don't have? It was, and I did a deal with the Demon. Leave me alone for 2009 and I'll show you who's boss. He cackled merrily as I spent money at Christmas. 'You'll never make it!!' he cried, rubbing his fat hands in glee. 'Oh yes, I will, this spending is just to make you feel good until I starve you to death' I replied. 'Now, clear off - I don't want to see you again 'til you are half the demon you are now'
So he cackled off into the distance, but I can still see him, and know he is waiting to pounce. I, Beatrice Dixon, BA, will have no truck with him in 2009, and will make those tough decisions, and live like a poor person. If successful, he will be so reduced that in 2010, he might disappear for ever.
Think of that and purr...........
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Bea Movie
Sarah throws a mean party! She had a great one last night, with loads of people in fancy dress and enough food to sink an oil tanker. I was anxious about going for two reasons - 1) that I was not going to drink alcohol, and who enjoys a party without getting a little merry? and 2) Brad & Peeli were going to be there.
Now Brad and Peeli are lovely people, don't get me wrong, but at the last party we were at together - Jacob's Birthday party in May - I had embarrassed myself enormously by snogging Brad. Not that the snogging was embarrassing, but the pictures circulating afterwards were. I excuse my actions by saying that I was very drunk, but truth is I enjoyed flirting with someone half my age, who seemed to enjoy it too. But what must Peeli think of me? How was I going to face her again, sober and behaving properly?
I needn't have worried, she was fine and friendly and we all joked about the Bea Movie 2, and I stayed sober and only kissed Brad on the cheek. We - that is the little gang of Joe, Jake, Brad Aidz, Peeli, Phil, Wesley and me - had a hugely enjoyable time discussing such serious topics as writing a cheque for the hijacked oil, Somalian pirates, and whether Nirvana are the best band ever. I had about 2 tablespoons of alcohol, liberally diluted with lemonade.
So it is possible, even preferable to be sober at a party where everyone else is not, and I met some lovely new people, especially the well-talked-about-but-never-met Mehmet, a colleague of Sarah's. He and his wife Penny get 15 gold stars for chatting to Neil, who seemed to be a bit shy, and bringing him out of his shell.
We all had a good time, and The Bea Movie 2 will have to wait.
Now Brad and Peeli are lovely people, don't get me wrong, but at the last party we were at together - Jacob's Birthday party in May - I had embarrassed myself enormously by snogging Brad. Not that the snogging was embarrassing, but the pictures circulating afterwards were. I excuse my actions by saying that I was very drunk, but truth is I enjoyed flirting with someone half my age, who seemed to enjoy it too. But what must Peeli think of me? How was I going to face her again, sober and behaving properly?
I needn't have worried, she was fine and friendly and we all joked about the Bea Movie 2, and I stayed sober and only kissed Brad on the cheek. We - that is the little gang of Joe, Jake, Brad Aidz, Peeli, Phil, Wesley and me - had a hugely enjoyable time discussing such serious topics as writing a cheque for the hijacked oil, Somalian pirates, and whether Nirvana are the best band ever. I had about 2 tablespoons of alcohol, liberally diluted with lemonade.
So it is possible, even preferable to be sober at a party where everyone else is not, and I met some lovely new people, especially the well-talked-about-but-never-met Mehmet, a colleague of Sarah's. He and his wife Penny get 15 gold stars for chatting to Neil, who seemed to be a bit shy, and bringing him out of his shell.
We all had a good time, and The Bea Movie 2 will have to wait.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Well, I didn't know that!
I love playing cards. Not the intense, clever stuff that my brother Chris does, doing Sooooooo well at the Beijing Olympiad, just cards, rubbish stuff like Nap and patience. I learned to play patience at my mother's elbow, watching her, learning, getting hooked. Oh how she would have LOVED the computer version, with all the shuffling and dealing done in a moment. I love to play Spider, and the score is recorded by the number of moves to win, the fewer the better. I was deeply upset to discover that if I undid a move, it counts towards my total, and didn't subtract. GRRRRRRRRRR!
This reminded me of a recent incident which revealed how we sometimes have strange ideas about how things work. (not prepared to reveal how recent, to save embarrassment). There I was in bed, enjoying my first cup of tea with Neil and listening to the radio. A news item revealed that a young woman had been apprehended by police for driving for miles IN REVERSE! When asked why she was doing this, she explained that she had borrowed her mum's car and done more miles than she cared to explain, so she was just 'unwinding' some. I thought this was very enterprising of her, and I looked at Neil blankly, unable to fathom out why he found the story so amusing. My punishment was a 15 minute lesson (with drawings) of how a mileometer works!
I must admit, when it comes to how things work, there are MANY things about which I have only a hazy grasp of reality. Like how electricity works, and how come when I light the gas cooker, it doesn't ignite all the gas in the pipes, and really understanding how I can talk on my mobile phone, without any wires. And how TONS of ship can float, when I find it so hard.
I guess there are things in life which I just have to accept as fact, without understanding the fundamentals, as one person can't know everything. And my advice is to make damn sure that you partner up with someone who understands the things you don't, and can explain them to you, with drawings, at 7am over the morning tea
This reminded me of a recent incident which revealed how we sometimes have strange ideas about how things work. (not prepared to reveal how recent, to save embarrassment). There I was in bed, enjoying my first cup of tea with Neil and listening to the radio. A news item revealed that a young woman had been apprehended by police for driving for miles IN REVERSE! When asked why she was doing this, she explained that she had borrowed her mum's car and done more miles than she cared to explain, so she was just 'unwinding' some. I thought this was very enterprising of her, and I looked at Neil blankly, unable to fathom out why he found the story so amusing. My punishment was a 15 minute lesson (with drawings) of how a mileometer works!
I must admit, when it comes to how things work, there are MANY things about which I have only a hazy grasp of reality. Like how electricity works, and how come when I light the gas cooker, it doesn't ignite all the gas in the pipes, and really understanding how I can talk on my mobile phone, without any wires. And how TONS of ship can float, when I find it so hard.
I guess there are things in life which I just have to accept as fact, without understanding the fundamentals, as one person can't know everything. And my advice is to make damn sure that you partner up with someone who understands the things you don't, and can explain them to you, with drawings, at 7am over the morning tea
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Tempest
Here I sit, at my computer, desperately trying to get my brain to work. I know it's early, but this is my best time of day, and I should be able to write an essay with no problem. I've read The Tempest twice, I've watched the film, I have read all related texts, and I know what I want to say. It's the question that I find so hard.....'compare and contrast'...the OU says. That's hard to do when your brain is in tip-top condition, but I fear mine has had a tempest all of its own, and has not quite recovered.
What actually happens in my brain when I have a seizure? If it is, as I sometimes explain to people, like blowing a fuse, do I get all that burnt stuff that happens round the wires in a plug when it gets too hot and blows? Have I got melted bits? Why do I continue to have fit after fit......4 this time in 20 hours.....why isn't one enough to calm things down in there? I am seeing the neurologist tomorrow, but I fear that he will not be able to answer these questions, as so little is known about the causes and effects of epilepsy.
What I do know is that I am having real difficulty in marshalling my thoughts into coherent patterns. It is like having to drag a reluctant child to school, we both know where we are going, but one of us seems more keen than the other. The easiest decision in these circumstances is to give in, let little Johnny stay home for the day. But would my brain be better off if I said 'OK, no more OU, no more essays, no more Shakespeare? I can't believe it would.
There is so much at stake. The fulfilment of a dream, the justification for spending so much time, effort and money over the years, the sense of self-worth, the pride, the enjoyment, simply the education. To give in is to give up, and I fear a future with nothing to drive me on.
So, let's get this child to school. A bit of persuasion is all that's needed. Let's show the goal to the brain and convince it that it REALLY wants to do this. Now, where was I.........Act 2 scene 1, I think........
What actually happens in my brain when I have a seizure? If it is, as I sometimes explain to people, like blowing a fuse, do I get all that burnt stuff that happens round the wires in a plug when it gets too hot and blows? Have I got melted bits? Why do I continue to have fit after fit......4 this time in 20 hours.....why isn't one enough to calm things down in there? I am seeing the neurologist tomorrow, but I fear that he will not be able to answer these questions, as so little is known about the causes and effects of epilepsy.
What I do know is that I am having real difficulty in marshalling my thoughts into coherent patterns. It is like having to drag a reluctant child to school, we both know where we are going, but one of us seems more keen than the other. The easiest decision in these circumstances is to give in, let little Johnny stay home for the day. But would my brain be better off if I said 'OK, no more OU, no more essays, no more Shakespeare? I can't believe it would.
There is so much at stake. The fulfilment of a dream, the justification for spending so much time, effort and money over the years, the sense of self-worth, the pride, the enjoyment, simply the education. To give in is to give up, and I fear a future with nothing to drive me on.
So, let's get this child to school. A bit of persuasion is all that's needed. Let's show the goal to the brain and convince it that it REALLY wants to do this. Now, where was I.........Act 2 scene 1, I think........
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Things aint what they used to be
Back to reading Blogs. Isn't it fun?! Especially my sister's, which are so full of shared memories. I haven't written anything since December 26th, after a particularly joyful Christmas, but as I gradually remove the clutter from my life, I now find I have some more time to write.
The year has gone well:- I decided that I had been too fat for too long and there was only one sensible thing to do, so I joined Weight Watchers. The plan was to lose 113 lbs in 138 weeks, which meant that I would be at target by my 60th birthday. Then Jake & Phil threw a spanner in my works by announcing their engagement, and proposed marriage date of 30th August 2009, A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER! This gives me just 61 weeks to lose weight to look gorgeous in his wedding photos. I am still sticking to my planned target of 1 lb per week which means over 4 stone shed by the wedding.......and I am currently 6lbs ahead of target, so WAY-HAY!
Evie has been growing into a human being, and we now have a great relationship. I love to watch her learning how to walk and talk, how to understand her environment, what's good and what's not. I have a large (2 ft high) teak elephant which fascinates her........she is simultaneously awed by and attracted to it, and watches it out of the corner of her eye in case it decides to move. So funny!! I look forward to the book reading times to come.
Neil and I have been enjoying each other's company, and have had a fabulous time. We have been to some great gigs (The Fall, Fish) and were lucky to have seen probably the last ISIHAC before Humphrey Littleton died in April. We are enjoying our garden, and with the recent fine weather, have been sitting out there a lot. We can't remember what we used to argue about so much, life is so peachy now. We have bought a brand new TV and are about to have our kitchen re-fitted.
Don't want to ramble for ever, more another day
The year has gone well:- I decided that I had been too fat for too long and there was only one sensible thing to do, so I joined Weight Watchers. The plan was to lose 113 lbs in 138 weeks, which meant that I would be at target by my 60th birthday. Then Jake & Phil threw a spanner in my works by announcing their engagement, and proposed marriage date of 30th August 2009, A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER! This gives me just 61 weeks to lose weight to look gorgeous in his wedding photos. I am still sticking to my planned target of 1 lb per week which means over 4 stone shed by the wedding.......and I am currently 6lbs ahead of target, so WAY-HAY!
Evie has been growing into a human being, and we now have a great relationship. I love to watch her learning how to walk and talk, how to understand her environment, what's good and what's not. I have a large (2 ft high) teak elephant which fascinates her........she is simultaneously awed by and attracted to it, and watches it out of the corner of her eye in case it decides to move. So funny!! I look forward to the book reading times to come.
Neil and I have been enjoying each other's company, and have had a fabulous time. We have been to some great gigs (The Fall, Fish) and were lucky to have seen probably the last ISIHAC before Humphrey Littleton died in April. We are enjoying our garden, and with the recent fine weather, have been sitting out there a lot. We can't remember what we used to argue about so much, life is so peachy now. We have bought a brand new TV and are about to have our kitchen re-fitted.
Don't want to ramble for ever, more another day
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