What's it all about?

Attending my nephew's wedding yesterday prompted my sister to recall the story of her wedding rings, and why she wears two of them. This, in turn, prompted me to recall my own attitude to wedding rings, and why I don't wear one at all.
When I was little, I wanted to get married and have children. Maybe like so many other girls, I grew up with a highly romaticised idea of marriage, and the wedding was no exception. Church, bridesmaids, wedding dress and rings were all part of the package, although it has to be said that my first wedding was anything but traditional in appearance. I changed my surname to that of my new husband, wore his ring and kept it there for 8 years in hope of the romance that never came. Shackled to a man I no longer loved, I removed the symbol of this marriage as soon as it was over.
For my second wedding, I was a bit older, but not much wiser, and still thought that marriage could be the perfect union of souls. The wedding arrangements were more pragmatic, driven as we were by  lack of money, but the name change and the ring were still in there, as if their magic influence could create love out of lust, and common ground where none existed. About the same time I started to wise up on gender equality, taking a big interest in the women's rights movement and some strong feminists became friends of mine. Maybe I became too strident, maybe my new found role as a mother gave me a strength and definition of purpose - who knows? But here I was again, shackled by a name and a ring to a man who showered me with indifference. One day, when I knew it was over, I shed the name and the ring, and walked.
My half-baked feminist notions now became 'the truth' as I wove a cloth to protect myself against the traditions of marriage. I believe that a white wedding dress is a symbol of purity, and that the bride is a virgin. I believe that being 'given away' by your father is a tradition dating back to tribal customs when you were literally 'given' to another tribe, maybe in exchange for 1/2 dozen cows. And I believe that changing your name to your husband's, and wearing a ring are proof of ownership - you are a mere possession of your husband and his family.
Some of these notions may be true. Certainly, whatever their origin, the modern wedding ceremony is merely a set of rituals, that many people go through without a second thought as to their meaning.
So it was with the greatest joy that when I married for the 3rd (and last) time, it really was a union of hearts, minds and souls. Neil was not then, nor now, interested in the form and ritual of marriage. Indeed, for many months, we thought that we had all we needed, without marriage. It was enough for us to love each other. When we decided to get married, it was enough in itself to make our relationship formal. He had no desire for me to change my name, nor wear a ring. Free to be me, I am shackled to my husband by love.

Only a fool

Julia sent me a little mantra to try out - to keep me off the bread! 'Only a fool breaks the 2-slice rule'. It's good. It's very good. But the way I feel today should teach me something.
(Do I ever learn?) I think I like to eat bread-related products. I love sandwiches, rolls, toast - ah, how I love toast! But I feel like a loaf afterwards, all stodgy and lethargic. But today I went back to healthy eating a la Weight Watchers, and have had no bread. And I feel fantastic. I am so full of energy that I can only imagine that all these carbs are bad for me in some fundamental way. I think I read somewhere that foods we 'crave' are somehow the very ones that are not good for us. Sounds bunkum. Probably is. But if I can feel this good every day, why would I want to sacrifice it for a few slices of toast?
The only problem now is what to spread my marmite on. Suggestions anyone?

Starting from scratch

Julia has been nagging me for some time to re-start my blog, but somehow the time never seemed right. But her blog on making a curry has sparked me off.

Cooking skills have never been top priority in our household. I can turn out an acceptable meal, but I don't enjoy the process, and even my best efforts are ones that I can chuck in the slow cooker and forget about it. Neil loves to cook, but hasn't got a clue what he is doing, and the results are very variable. I shut up and say nowt, because he is more than willing to prepare a dinner for me every night, but the starting point for these meals is often a pre-packaged meal from the supermarket.

Last week he came home in triumph, brandishing a 'bargain' he had purchased in Tesco - half price at only £1 - a ready meal for one consisting of penne pasta in a tomato & basil sauce. Something finally clicked into gear in my brain and I was appalled! 'But darling, you could make this yourself and feed 6 people for £1, AND it would be tastier'. So we decided to have a go at real cooking. Co-incidentally, a few days later I watched a TV programme in which pre-packaged diet food was given short shrift for its poor nutritional value and suspect ingredients.

Now Julia will delight in telling people (and it is a funny story) about my first foray into cooking when I had to phone her up several times to get step-by-step instructions on making a chicken casserole. However, this happened over 40 years ago, and several marriages later, I have accumulated some knowledge about basic cooking techniques, although not much more joy in the process. But I am a Virgo, and 2 things I love are following instructions and showing others the right way (my way) of doing something. So you can imagine the fun I had, in the kitchen with my lovely husband, as we worked our way through the recipe for a vegetarian pasta bake (actually a lasagne of sorts). Neil was beside himself with excitement, almost unable to wait till it was cooked to see how it had turned out. I do believe this was his first cooking attempt starting from scratch with fresh ingredients and a recipe book.

It turned out lovely, probably cost about £2.50, was enough for 6 people and we had great fun doing it. Neil unfortunately thinks he has cracked it and wants to move straight to the Maddhur Jaffrey style of cooking, but I will take him through a few more basics before we move on to ingredients like Norwegian Beaver Cheese and Mexican Yaks Milk.